woeful times

i'm stresssssssssssed
i look at the essay qns for 19th century
and i think,
how the hell am i gonna churn up 2000+ words
they look tough, and tricky
and daunt me.

then i think of the exam qns
and i'm afraid again
like how i can't write shit
getting panicky because everyone's scribbling like mad
while i'm still doodling my points out in pencil
i can't fathom how ppl can produce 5 pages of argument
under 2 hours of exam stress.

then i think of how i have the SS essay to handle
at the same time.
planning to devote one week to each essay
and i dread to start
imagining how gruelling the times ahead will be
how my energies will be exhausted to the core
wringing every painstaking word.
i'm such a wuss.

i don't get how come studying can be a chore
when i profess to love lit
ironic isn't it
i don't mind spewing random ideas thoughts in tuts
but i hate essays.
some say lit is a piece of cake
as compared to the strenuous calculations of engine
intensive memorising of life science and biology
the mountains of readings for other majors
all you do is read stories
i beg to differ

most ppl do leisure reading
and they say ooh i love this book
because it's so exciting romantic trashy blah
when you read with literary analysis in mind
you have to engage with the text
emotionally mentally spiritually
it's a laborious effort
one has to feel with the heart
if not you can't see what lies beyond the words
i rmbed i once cried in goof's arms
how i feared i chose the wrong major

can't wait for everything to end,
the holidays to start.
i've fallen in love with prettyhooks earrings
i need to get my ears pierced.