go away

you know the exams are coming near when...

+ you receive the feedback exercise email
+ the yih study room is open for 24 hours
+ deadlines for term papers start popping up

i've got a 10-12 page foodsoci term paper
a 6-page lit essay
a 4000-word js1101e group academic paper
a js2216 project report.

and when all this is over,
the exams will creep up on you.

i'm stressed, i'm busy, i feel deprived
and most of all,
i'm grossly insulted.
i don't need that sort of shit.

humph.
go away.

if i were to die

my entire estate was shaking just now.
considering i'm 21 floors up
it's a frightening affair indeed.
i kid you not.
was on the phone with nydia when
suddenly everything was moving.
i thought it was just me
that i was shaking.
then i started to feel giddy
and my butt was moving to and fro.
i was sitting on the floor.
ok something is definitely not right here.

dashed out of my room
only to hear the same sentiments
being echoed by kent and mum.
it was both comforting and terrifying
(like ok, i'm not schizophrenic i'm good...
... and uh oh, good lord the building's really shaking)

the thought of being trapped lifeless in rubble very paralysing.

well well, the first person i thought of was you.
how i'd regret it if my whole life just pass by
without letting you know how i truly felt.
that to me, you're more than just "alright".

we dawdled for a precious 2 minutes
whether to stay or flee downstairs.
dad was preoccupied with combing his hair.
*rolls eyes* come on, pa
do you actually think there's a media reception
complete with flashing camera bulbs
waiting for us downstairs?
sheesh.
mum was the quick one.
she yelled at us to all go down. right NOW.
i made a quick dash for my lappy and hp.
and off we went.
we took the lift - ain't very smart.
if it had been a real emergency.
i was braless and feeling very insecure indeed.
hugged my lappy the whole time. lol.

so there we were.
a bunch of us hanging at the playground.
again - not a very wise move.
if the buildings were to collapse,
we'd be squashed flat as well.
i fiddled with my lappy
trying to rip some wireless but to no avail.
well, at least i entertained my neighbouring hdb dwellers
with my lappy's decent audio system.
i hope they were pleased with my selection of songs.

anyway all's well now. (duh)
i'm alive and blogging.
thanks for your concern
(if anyone's remotely distressed after reading this)

spent a deliriously happy 27 march
catching the topshop/u2/fox fashion show with xian.
yesh i won 2 tics in the topshop contest (yeah alex, that one)
and we got to almost rub shoulders with the who's-whos of modelling world.
even if it was for just half hour or so.
it was soo glamourous.
the models all tower at 1.8 m at least it seems.
the angmoh babes were so gorgeous
long legs, itty bitty waists, defined cheekbones
complete with energetic perky braless boobs.
the guys were not so great.
except this johnny depp lookalike and a sweet afro 'do guy
this singaporean who so act-beng. eurgh
resembles a typical nus resident hall male.
the asian models were disappointing.
looks/figures/catwalk-wise. sigh.
so i guess this makes me a little closer
to my milan/paris runway dream.

and the latter part of the day was devoted to you.

maybe

trust is a scary thing.
with it comes expectations, commitment and promises.

i know i can be a spoilt nasty horrid girl.
an impossibly unreasonable selfish brat.

still,
i hope you can handle me.
and all the little quirky bits that come along with jane :)

(s)tress issue

doing my darnest not to cave in

the temptation of snipping all my locks off.

bloody hot.

it's dry

irritatingly orangeish

and all tangled in knots.

someone sponsor me

bday prezzie? :)

i want to relax my hair.

straighter. smoother. pweeeetierrrr! lol.

bloody friday

dull abdominal pains
i hate aunt rubes.
a pain in the ass - literally.

psych test was tough!
and i even studied one extra chapter - 8! lol.
wasted my bloody time.
keith realised and didn't even bother to inform me. humph.
oh so accomplished - for all the wrong reasons.
and i kinda messed up all my concepts.
sigh.

what a way to start the weekend.
tons of work to complete by sunday.
powerpoint presentation
psych tut
writeup on japan's geography
proofread my group's writings on tokyo
make it sound coherently whole
and then come up with an intro paragraph.

my stomach hurts.
owww
it's growling too.
hungryyyyyyy

c+

terribly aching arms
there are some kickass muscles in my limbs i never knew existed
that are just screaming for attention right now.
all thanks to my aquatic aerobic workout with joyce yesterday.
hell, my inner thighs are sore too.
all that kicking from the breaststroke.
did 20 laps - out of which, 15 were nonstop.
never knew you could pant so much underwater.

wanted to go blading initially
but when no one's free to accompany you,
you just gotta take whatever's offered. *shrugs
i still love my blades more :)

shopped with alex two days in a row
took so many silly shots of ourselves
posing with all the different shades at topshop
alex swore the salesgirl shot evil glares at us
i bumped into sirius joseph with his gf there too.
(note: looking very unfriendly and unsmiley. ouch)

gonna sound mean but heck i'm saying it
he always looks grouchy and anal-retentive
whenever i see him
and he's always with his girl.
is he extremely unsatisfied abt their relationship
or is it just me he hates?
ahh maybe that's just his paiseh look.
well, he can sod off.
i hope he didn't mistake alex for my boyfriend. lol.
cos at least i looked damn happy with him.

finally got a gorgeous pair that looks fantastic on him :)
i raised my brows at the price - 33 bucks.
considering i got 2 pairs for $20 at chinatown
and mind you, they look just as funky
the retro oversized celebrity ones.
one in black and the other, bold white.
ahh well, whatever floats your boat lex.

i wrote on louis vuitton for my lit essay
all painstakingly precious 1,030 words of it.
as materialistically vain as it may seem,
i still hope to score.
my first C+, individual assignment-wise.
HUMPH. definitely upset.

jiat kim st

headed to zouk
with nydia and her norwegian friends last night
she came to pick me up at orchard
which was really sweet of her
thanks nyd dearie! :) *hugs
esp when someone else broke his promise to do just that.
humph.
thank goodness it wasn't too smoky at first.
nyd cracking me up with her funny chinese
she was a higher chinese student before
sheesh, that girl never fail to surprise me. hah
in more ways than one.
us talking in codes ;)
her friends were really nice and friendly
but i just wasn't in the mood to socialise i guess
i'm sorry.
saw jo joyce jason too... nice :)
it was hilarious to see edmund twohill boogie onstage
well all i can conclude is that he's not dancer material.
imagine, my former councillor president
attempting naughty antics like squeezing into a tee with a girl
while sucking on a lollipop or sth
risque q&a like "are you a screamer... or moaner?"
with practically all of nus eusoffians cheering on.
contrast that with him reciting the national pledge in all solemnness
that kind of image sorta never go away.
lol.

sky/ahchen&gf/eugene/hongkai/others came later.
chilled for an hour or so before finally deciding
i can't take the smoke anymore.
actually it was freezing cold as well.
it was close to midnight and i haven't had dinner.
i see no reason in torturing myself.
so i gave up.
hahahah. yesh i'm a lousy piece of crap.

i can never fathom how the regulars do it.
how they manage to have fun
amidst all that nervewrecking self-consciousness
everyone so pretentious
all dolled up with meticulously styled hair
complete with sexy skimpy outfits
i am amazed
these girls must have the fat deposits of a killer whale.
beneath all that skin and bones.
it was freezing.
i'd choose blading over clubbing any day, man.

msged sky that i was leaving.
he came over and brought me to his table of friends
and i finally met ahchen's gf!
so exciting... hahha. pretty :)
said the customary hellos and exchanged polite smiles
sweet of eugene to offer his seat
which i declined.
i was just dying to get out.
guess i appeared a little off - disinterested.

sky accompanied me the way out

he reeked of alcohol
his body was warm and his face, red.
knowing he's not a good drinker,
his friends made him down 2 shots of whisky. hahaa.
i was afraid he'd collapse on me or sth.
not gonna drag his dead body home ya know.
but he insisted he wasn't drunk. ok whatever.
he nearly got us killed on the road. scary!
i was starving and wanted to go the bah kut teh place.
supposed to bring him there
but i ended up returning back to zouk in one full circle. lol.
finally found our way there.
ate my salted veggies with rice.
went back zouk and hailed a cab home.
skipped school today.
need my zzzzzzzzzzz.
am a satisfied girl :)

saffronhill

regained my rightful job as interviewer today
alex came to work at saffronhill as well.
(and spent an awful long time chatting up this pretty smu girl. ha)
apparently jason thought we were an item
and when you came along,
things got even murkier.
lol.

slogged til 12 mn yesterday
doing tedious stressful registration for a lousy $7/hr
it's beyond me as to why
we get a pittance doing shit
while interviewers earn a whopping 12 bucks/survey
which can be completed in 40 mins flat.
it was 14 hours in total
and jason was kind enough to charge my cabfare to the company
so it wasn't all too bad.
manu drew with crystal palace 0-0
now we're back to 3rd.
argh.

my impending R.I.P

march's my favourite month
the reason is dead obvious.
if you're still clueless,
you're prob not important enough for me to let you know anyway.
and yes, you can go kill yourself now.
the anguish of not knowing jane's bday can be such a devastating blow.

i'd sometimes buy up all the march/april magazine issues
for the special horoscope profile dedicated to aries or other silly things like that
just to entertain the notion
of having a collection of all my birthday month mags

but this time round...
the joyous arrival of march is tainted
by a slight sense of loss
and a more than healthy dose of panic.

aye, i'd soon be a longstanding member of The Twenties Club
and if my luck holds out, for a decade. at least.
the tombstone of adolescence beckons
never thought it would all end so soon.
i love being 19.
it has a nice ring to it... nineteen.
old enough to be treated like a young lady
teen enough to goof around and act spastic.

physically and emotionally, you don't feel any different from being 19
but somehow just cos you're 20
people view you in a vastly different light altogether.
they do and you know it.
it's as if they suddenly expect you to grow an extra muscle somewhere
maybe in the suprachiasmatic nucleus
containing all the sensible virtues possible
encompassing maturity/grace/wisdom
and the most horrific one, responsibility.

20
i hate the way it looks soo... complete.
still don't wanna grow up.

i'm twenty.
can't bring myself to say that.
it just sounds wrong.

one downside of hitting 20?
however slow you think your metabolism is right now,
trust me it's gonna get worse.
argh
'nuff said.

darn it

i lost our msn chatlogs.
all of them.
i ought to be shot.

HUMPH.