smugging: amorous homosexual behaviour

i hate bloody classics
they bore your ass off
i was only mildly tickled on page 1 of jude
when good ol' victorians convey "hey great idea"
by saying, "that's a proper good notion".
*stiff brit accent advisory*

jamesjoyce is an utter downer.
portrait is a good 200-odd page turner
currently i'm trying to drag myself past pg 43
i increasingly feel i'm not cut out for lit :(

damn sunday times had to publish that gastronomic delight
and now i have a chronic craving for amoy st oh nee
chinswee!

i've got another confession to make
i'm your fool

all of you

for all things bright and cheery

in life with all its endless ups and downs
here's the ppl who have remained constant :)

celebrated cutie edna's big 20
in a flustered but hilarious two hours or so
save for emmo who rushed off to save her bf
from the throes of traffic
and ling the poor girl was cooped at home
monitoring her bidding
hope you got your cooking classes girl :)

today's a happy happy happy day
cos i had loads of fun
hanging out with my wonderful girlies
followed by my precious goofball.

"'cos i like to see you smile
and you like to hold my hand!"
-hugs-

from love.ivillage.com

one thing guys dread to hear girls mention...

"do you notice anything different about me?"

You know you're in trouble if you don't. And the longer you take to answer, the more frustrated she'll become, which makes you more frantic. And when you finally bellow, "Oh, you got a new haircut!" she storms out, throwing her new earrings on the floor.

lol. funny shit.

getting busy from now on

once again murphy's law applies itself
you always run smack into tons of ppl
when you're at your crumpled dishevelled best
while you agonise silently inside
ohhhh why didn't i grab that top instead
the one that looks, feels and in fact costs like a million bucks.

bumped into sheryl joyce chin alene geraldine
and the most surprising one of all - jeannie chhoooo
hmmm... definitely more girl now
and looking as nonchalent as ever. hah.

pretty tempted to do windsurf
forking out 60 bucks will be a tinge of heartache
but aaahhhh... i wanna try!
let see if i can persuade goofball to part with his moolah too.
-smirks-

i like mondays
the offbeat day of the week
where everyone gathers around the table proper.
the dishes will be piping hot and the rice, steaming
i'll ferry the dishes and set the table
it's almost like a family dinner ritual.
and almost everyone'd be there
if kent bothers to wake up from his nap
and i'm not gallivanting somewhere outside.

ending with a lovely opener by yeats :)

When my arms wrap you round I press
My heart upon the loveliness
That has long faded from the world

private&confidential

davidlodge nice work
noelcoward private lives
haroldpinter the homecoming / landscape / silence
jamesjoyce a portrait of the artist
virginiawoolf to the lighthouse
wilkiecollins woman in white
charlesdickens great expectations
thomashardy jude the obscure
georgeeliot middlemarch
amytan joy luck club
bharatimukherjee jasmine
maxinehongkingston the woman warrior

blew $90.83 procuring these lit tomes today
transversing all over the island for the cheapest buys
forum coop, westmall for san then finally borders at orchard

the rain poured
and poured
and poured.

yet i remember most acutely
the desire to wander amidst the crowds, hand in hand, with you
yes, i miss being held in your warm relaxed grasp
that tightens every time when i'm oblivious to traffic
to be led while you do the irksome jostling with graceful ease
i unconsciously want to feel you near
to playfully poke your ticklish spots
seeing other couples on the streets
just makes me think of you
and what you could possibly be doing now
(zzzz. soccer. munching tomatoes. laughing. going crazy without me. =P)
this is embarrassing to admit
but when our fingers intertwine
i believe our hearts are, too.
(yeah ok, laugh.)

but i despise this growing dependency
the feeling that i need you so whenever i'm alone
be it to shop eat whatever.
it was never an issue in the pre-goofballistic times
i used to like shopping alone, being alone
somehow escaping into the crowd
gives me the space to think, to reflect, to observe and conclude.

i'm not saying it's impossible to do that now.
but it's noticeably harder.
i find myself constantly suppressing
the urge to whip out my hp and text you to meet me
how does one tread the fine line between
maintaining your own individuality and
sharing bits and pieces of your life with the other?

this short period of non-contact is self-imposed
the poor chap's probably clueless why i suddenly went MIA.
i guess when i feel i'm getting too attached to him
i withdraw, and i hold back.

i sound like a commitment phobe
but i just don't want get hurt simply
by being overly reliant on him for everything.
it'd be tiring for him as well.

i wish there was a guidebook to love.

on a lighter, goofball-free (yay, rejoice) note,
pepperlunch is not bad
the novelty's there; cooking your own food
it's like DIY teppanyaki
though you would reek of bbq after

there's a quaint little bakery at the foot of shaw house
sun moulin
i'm attracted to its cute japanese inscriptions
designer bread prices nonwithstanding of course.
yummy belgian waffles and little hersheykiss-like mochi puffs :)

looking forward to plasticwrapping the lit pile
completely therapeutic
and i'm pleased to say i'm quite a master at it too. hahha
i always comfort myself that i can earn my keep
wrapping books for secondhand bookshops like sunny's
if my arts degree gets me nowhere.

even lovers need a holiday
far away from each other

still, i miss you so.

uprooted

i waxed today!
a quick painful $25 affair at strip's
muffling my screams as the lady
vehemently yanked the stubborn curly wurlies
occasionally asking a mechanical "ok not?"
like what can you do, bear my pain for me?
or ahh... even better, if can provide anaesthesia!
the warm wax felt nice against the skin though
the nervous anticipation before the yank was executed
(esp when you're lying on your stomach for the calf section)
is perhaps comparable to caning i guess.
i can't even begin to fathom a brazilian.
after a while, you get a shiok high from all that yanking
oh no, i could be harbouring a potential s&m fetish. ha
but i feel a lil cheated now that i feel bristles already!
humph... is it just me and my highly accelerated follicle regenerative rate.

all my wanted lit books are out of stock at sunny's
damn. those lit majors are quick.
so i walked alone along orchard
feeling oh-so-sorry for myself
when i bumped into wen!
hanged with her and huimin
shopping and talking :)
a decision i didn't regret one bit.

bumped again into a crescent junior
which was nothing incredulous or earthshattering news
save for the fact that
she's a mum with a 2-year-old kid.
not married yet but soon i think.
everything abt her is so grownup and mature
she could pass off for 25.
(weird the way this number keeps popping up.)
felt so kiddy telling her we're in uni now and blah.
so surreal eh.
must have been tough braving through all that she had.
and you think your life is tough.
sheesh.

ooh and for the first time,
i got all my first choice tut slots. yay :)

woohoo

"server unavailable" pops up
just after i ranked my choices and hit submit
argh.
just a small argh
not a big one.
'cos things have been GREAT in my life =)

to the precious few who know these few days
have been clouded by a deep unsettling disquiet
everything's fine now.
the doc said the xrays indicate no cause for worry
and it's normal at this age.
PHEW.
thank god and yous for being there.
the frantic smses sent
followed by reassuring phonecalls/smses
love ya all. -hugs-

and YOU!
being so cocksure to declare
"everything's gonna be alright"
ok lahhh you were right.
i'm so thankful i have you to lean on
to whine
to complain with relish
while you listen on with unfailing gusto and patience
coupled with the occasional wisecrack :)

tempted to go for a wax at wheelock's strip
very, tempted.
do you know you'd stay fuzz-free for 3 weeks, at least!
*stunned by the good news of seemingly eternity*

not ok

hello world
i'm up bright and early at 6 am
on a sunday morning
no it's not a supernatural occurrence;
i haven't slept all night but i soon will.

goodnight world.

'cause all the stars have faded away

The One

(sorry goofball, but he just ooh-so-incredibly is.)

starved at 1 am

did i mention the nussu diary sucks?
the all important blank pages
not the adverts
which are, btw, tough as cardboard
are sooo flimsy.
feels like tracing paper
can't even withstand the mildest of furious flipping.
tears damn easily.
yeah nice cover, but so what? LOUSY.
and the blue reminds me of carbon paper.

first day at sch was not bad.
met loads of ppl - jo marie lester joyce eleanor shuzhen :)
it was a mad jampacked affair at forum coop
that got me mourning for the demise of beatcoop.com even more
lit books are costing a bomb.
trudging to central lib for major zapping, no choice.

the start

JANE'S SEM I, AY 05/06 (revised) LIST

en3223 19th century lit & culture
en3224 the 20th century
en3234 asian american lit
gek1533 women's health (ling)
ssa2203 chinese biz in sg & beyond (xian and becca)

they did choose joyluckclub. i'll be damned.
kinda excited abt sch tmr - women's health
it's been long enough
bring it on.

gonna crash once my hair dries.
it's been one looong crazy day.

last day

today was pretty fun
and i managed it all without goofball :)
ok, only snippets of him in conversation.
celebrated emmo's sweet 20 at manhattanfishmarket
which is a really strange name
considering that it hails from malaysia.
trying to sound upmarket eh
anyway the food's a worthy rival of fish&co
having arrived late
i scanned the sparse and dimly lit restaurant
and in a flourish
spotted 3 familiar hungry faces wolfing down a huge pan
like there was no tomorrow.
lol.
my fish&chips was measly
compared to fish&co's generous portions
but there's the price difference too lah.
great garlic rice
(seasonal) pollock was rubbish
should have stuck to cheaper pacific dory
tasted a lil like chewy fish fingers you buy frozen from supermarkets.

spotlight is funky,
and looking like a mini ikea.
selling crockery cute glass bottles and all.
a barang barang of sorts.
bakerzin is simply orgasmic
warm choc cake and profiteroles had me going "... oomph!" :)
striving to spend $200 in 3 months for membership.
everyone, pass me your receipts!

got a long green gypsy skirt and cream leather bag.
unexpected purchases.
i'm going broke.

baby and rest of the world are starting sch tmr
'cept me. (on thurs! hah)
happy first day, everyone!

edna, hope you like our bag! :)

love is... a many splendoured thing

love shouldn't ought to be that consuming.

love isn't supposed to be so addictive.

love shouldn't be this overwhelming.

love couldn't be so unbelievably painful.

love shouldn't sear your heart like many a chilling broken shard

love couldn't possibly afford to be so heartbreakingly beautiful

love couldn't bear to be so tenderly intoxicating

love could never be so magically enchanting




but it is, all of the above.
and it's all because of... you.

-conjured on a silent smoky sat morn 060805 5:18AM-

"how fortunate for leaders that men do not think."

mood's been pretty sombre and affected
after watching 2 intense war flicks
enemy at the gates starring jude law
and german downfall with bruno ganz.
both set in world war II
both involve hitler's nazis and stalin's red army.
both espouse blowing your brains out with a gun as the most ideal suicide
both pack massive dollops of artillery bullets and gory bloodsyrup carnage
(that had me screaming and grabbing the unfortunate arm nearest to me)
both mostly in muted grey tones
only one was hollywood blockbuster-ish entertaining
with a gripping sniper showdown and decent dialogue
whereas the other was chilling and depressingly heavy
depicting the last hours of a desperate frail aging tyrant
too used to having the world in his hands to accept defeat
who continues to manipulate others brilliantly
even right til after his death.
fanatics who remain staunch believers in
the almighty glorious third reich utopia of the fuhrer.

trying to keep this post goofball-free
guess it wouldn't help one bit
to mention that i caught the two shows with him huh.
lol. ;)

steamboat

yesterday was kinda memorable
bladed in the crazy afternoon heat
before heading to gorge ourselves silly
at suntec joaquim steamboat buffet
where baby and i bumped into WEILI!
our tables were right beside each other's too.
the guy never fails to bring a smile to my face :)
complaining abt the poor quality low standards etc
with a miserable frown on his face. hah
and funny man LESTER!
with his neverending groups of pals
was totally engrossed in the act of prawnpeeling
got a shock when he nonchalently walked over
sat right next to us
and quipped, "eh eat steamboat never ask me to come ah?" hah.
never thought it impossible
but looking thinner yeah?

hmm and the conclusion was,
yeah it's cheap for a steamboat buffet lah
but it was nothing great.
prawns NOT fresh! *wails
meanwhile spied les and co cooking up a storm
with as usual, plates heaped with piles of food.
baby and i were stuffed.
phew.
gave up and surrendered at 9 pm
after nearly 3 hours of slurping and chowing.
he finally admitted defeat
that between the two of us...
he's not really the bigger eater.
tsktsk.
lousy, my dear. -hugs!- :)))