oh no,

i wanna watch -secret- again.

-secret-

we all have one.

sometimes i think we love for love's sake.
like there's this huge innate capacity within us to love
all we have to do to is find a subject to focus all that love on.

yes guys would rejoice at this theory
for it gives credence to their right to polygamy.
"cos i have too much love to give"
bullshit.

anyway i'm rambling.
been waking up with bad dreams and a slight sore throat these days.

the late lunch alone at food for thought was great
the place gave off such warm vibes it kept me happy and inspired the whole day
marutama ramen with joyce was fantastic
am in love with the noodles, yakitori char siew and seasoned egg
all melt-in-your-mouth orgasmic goodness YUM.
the movie was unexpectedly good and surprising.
it made me think of you.
and your silly babytalk and comical expressions.
it made me miss you.

i'm sure you'd have done the same if you were him.

introducing...

... the three current loves of my life.

the blue-eyed kitten sisters

my family can't fathom the long hours i spent downstairs at night in the middle of the hungry ghosts' festival. i've been spending so much time with them!

polar

white as snow, aggressive as hell. curious, adventurous and charges at anything that moves. she thinks my toes are french fries while the calves are huge slabs of tuna. been clawed and bitten by her in a playful fashion. and i always discipline her afterwards with a light slap on her head. but i don't think it's working. :( she's the funniest gungho kitten. put her up on the playground slide. she gamely went down before trying several times to climb up, slipping several times. laughed my ass off. wished i had caught it down on video.

gollum

my baby of the lot :) sweet and gentle yet fearless with the right amount of mischief/nonchalence at times - the hybrid of polar and fat boy (below). doesn't panic at all when i carry her and would just nestle comfortably in my arms. the ears are too huge for her small face! lol. it makes me laugh every time i see her. she needs to be fattened up though; too skinny.

fat boy

absolutely the most rotund. the most quiet and bochap. freaks out the first few times when i carried her but she's pretty ok now. mostly quiet and docile but would bite at the most unexpected moment. likes to follow me nearly everywhere :) and bravely ventured down the slide after i did it.

i hope nobody takes them away and the stupid kids won't hurt/startle them too much.

bah i'm so tempted to bring them home.

at jo's request

one of the better (i think best) photos taken ever since i got my haircut. definitely the one i'm most well-pleased with. i hate my hair.

at xueping's 21st

i've not jogged for 9 days now. i feel slightly off-skelter. something's not right. i'm actually experiencing jogging/exercise withdrawal symptoms. come to think of it, i've been jogging regularly for about a month now. time to hit the track again!

change

jogging regime has hit a snag because of school. :(

goof's new electronic weighing scale has uncovered the deceit of the old one. that ancient thing has been lying to me all this while! making me think i'm lighter than i actually am. boos. all the more reason and desperate need for jogging to resume. i hope the extra 300 g is due to all that excess blood waiting to be purged out.

wound's been healing nicely. classes have been great but i need to stop slacking. experienced a major turnaround and much happier now that i've managed to switch to another much more enjoyable and interesting lvl5000 module with sor and gina. major phew.

i've been feeling pretty lonely in school. ok, it's true i do see familiar faces around to say hi with but somehow things are different.

no joann, joyce or the other close friends to look forward to bumping into at arts canteen or just somewhere unexpected. even the new arts canteen seemed foreign. not to mention the annoying ezlink-ish turnstile at the central lib that bars quick access now and forevermore.

i miss the good ol' days.

knee some tlc

i never thought it'd happen but i fell while blading at pasir ris park today.

scrapped my left knee pretty bad and there is now a deep, angry gash surrounded by a zillion of cuts. fell into a sneaky puddle of wet sand while trying to avoid a huge stick strewn across the track. shaky skills, 8-month blading sabbatical and the unfamiliar bumpy-like-hell terrain didn't help.

i just hope it won't leave a scar and hurt too much when i jog. it probably will :( nearly screamed in the shower just now. still hesitant to take up mum's offer of disinfectant. -shudders-

goof was pretty upset at my fall and i got upset with him for being upset about it. it's like, hello i'm the one who fell ain't it, not you so stop scowling. apparently a fat trickle of blood was oozing as i tried blading back to the chalet. i was alerted to it only when two aunties walked past with a startled cry in hokkien, "wah, you see bleeding until like that."

goof disappeared and came back with a bottle of water from godknowswhere to clean it up. still scowling. ended up walking barefoot back in the most unglam fashion possible.

apart from that and the fact that i really HATE for my knees to hurt during jogging cos things are already as bad as they can be when i'm running, i'm ok. really. it's impossible to whine to goof when all he will do is chide me so i'm doing it here.

i still hate running. but i simply love the post-run, floating feeling coupled with jelly legs and a zoned-out mind. it brings good sleep too. but the best thing has got to be that my tummy is shrinking! we're currently doing 3 km but we're looking to maintain at 4 km.

enjoyed hanging out with goof's friends -hongkai/lester/alvin- tonight at xueping's 21st bday party. there's absolutely no pressure to maintain small talk since the guys are naturally full of cock so i'm usually just listening and laughing away. it's fun :) hope the girl likes the stuff i got her on the behalf of six guys. in any case, i reckon mine'd still be better than all their shopping efforts combined. ooh and lester lost a ton of weight at uk! so skinny now, got cheekbones leh. haha. but i think i still prefer him with more meat on.

studies v work

so, my two-month admin work stint has finally ended.

not that i'd miss the morning drone of our local workforce shuffling with robotic ease along the train platforms nor the sleepy, zombie-fied look on every passenger. i was truly glad on the way to work but as 5.30 pm drew near, i kinda dread to leave my desk which has become my temporary secret hideout for cors bidding, online shopping and msn-ing. i miss my co-workers' noisy chatter which usually doesn't include me at all but eavesdropping is a cheerful distraction from the mindless filing, shredding, printing and tallying. and my sup who has been mothering over me despite my occasional displays of irritation and even gave a small parting gift that left me pretty touched. my cnm-induced manners compel me to send a thankyou note to my sup which i would most probably do. come to think of it, i kinda enjoy working there. but helps, i do need a break from waking up at 8 am.

i still look like a lion; but now, i think the problem lies with the sides, not the fringe.

once i have money, i turn into a serial compulsive shopaholic. damn i better find a job that pays me 1)to shop with 2) lots and lots and lots of money or just the latter will do, thank you very much.

clocked 3 km in 18 mins today. is that fast enough? i reckon that's pretty good for me. -smirks- not so for goof though. i think he shook his head upon checking the stopwatch.

now that school's almost starting, i do feel somewhat torn when i see my working friends. and muse about how things would be like now if i had graduated as well. i'm not regretting, just wondering how green the grass is on the other side. most seem to be slogging very hard but it's comforting to see those who love their work too.

kraken no more

i think i look like a geek with my new hair.

nothing special, just a trim BUT I HAVE BANGS NOW and i look freaking ridiculous. like some country pumpkin. some ppl may call it 'fresh' but really, bangs is not a good look for me. i go around selfconsciously patting my fringe every few mins. goof is a doll to say i look "cute" with it in all earnest and he must be the only one in the world who thinks that way. in any case, he prefers it to the previous kraken-ish hair. it's so layered now that my hair curls in every possible direction making it look like an upside down flower. i think the newly-shorn follicles needs a few days to 'settle down'. i can cry - must every haircut be such a traumatic experience? my long hair is my security blanket.

the stylist commented that i have "flyaway" hair. alright all that knotty (naughty geddit) curlie-wurlies. boohoo, there must be some truth in it if every hairdresser i go to recommends rebonding right?

in other less hair-rifying news, i ran 3 km on tuesday and will be attempting it again tmr. gulps. i lost 1 kg from jogging so my weight's back to 55 kg again! coolness :) tmr marks the last day of work at sim. yays. can't wait to return to my nocturnal bedtime, do some blading and just veg out in front of the tv.

cors is running my life again and i can't seem to take online journo this sem which got me real stressed as i might have to do a level 5 module to replace it. you know sometimes we just seem to have a lot of freedom and choice. anyway i was feeling vexed abt it all day and finally cried it out at goof's today.

the sem ahead is turning out to be really tough. i want to be a stronger person and not bawl my eyes out each time at goof's when the deadlines loom, i cannot get what i want and feel lousy.